05. Why Chasing Perfection in T1D Isn't the Answer

Ever felt like you're chasing a mirage of perfection in managing your Type 1 Diabetes? Join me, Sean, as I reveal the hidden pressures and the often misunderstood concept of what it means to be a "good diabetic". You'll discover with me the often overwhelming role of technology and the relentless pursuit of perfect numbers that can leave us feeling defeated. 

Prepare to shift your perspective as we break away from the shackles of perfectionism. I'll guide you on how to recognize its signs and how to redefine success. You'll learn about striking a balance and how resilience, self-compassion, and self-love can help you navigate the highs and lows of living with Type 1 Diabetes. It's time to remember that our journey is not about punishing ourselves for occasional missteps, but about growth, learning, and adaptability.

Transcript

Shawn: 0:01

Welcome to the Type 1 Unscripted Podcast. My name is Sean and we are pulling back the curtain on the true experiences of life with Type 1 Diabetes. Together, we will explore the highs and lows of living with Type 1, sharing stories of inspiration and triumph, educating and learning and, most importantly, fostering our amazing Type 1 community. As a reminder, anything you hear on the Type 1 Unscripted Podcast, or any episode, should not be taken as medical advice. So before making any changes to your diet, insulin or healthcare plan, please consult with your physician or medical professional. Welcome to another episode of Type 1 Unscripted.

Shawn: 0:47

My name is Sean and, once again, just like many of you, I am a Type 1 diabetic who, I don't know, is just trying to figure out this whole diabetic management thing one day at a time. It's not easy and we face a lot of challenges, and what I love about what we're doing right now is we are creating community so we can learn together and grow together. And, with that being said, today's topic is something that's been on my mind for a few weeks now, and that is the idea of being a perfectionist when it comes to managing your diabetes. Now you might be sitting there saying I am the farthest thing from a perfectionist. I hear you I am too. My family and friends would probably agree, but the reality is you probably are when it comes to managing this chronic illness, and you may not even realize it. So today we're going to venture into this topic that I have been thinking on for a while now and we're going to talk about that relentless pursuit of that perfect blood sugar reading or that dream A1C, or maybe it's just that, aiming for a flawless day of meals and exercise. Whatever it may be, we're going to address the inner perfectionist in this. All that, I promise you, is there deep inside somewhere, and maybe it's not so deep, but when it comes to managing type one diabetes, we want it to be perfect in some way, some shape or some form. So think about this for a second. Think about one of those days when everything clicked, the readings were on point, you felt like this conductor or maestro orchestrating your own body and maybe you had one of those big like light bulb moments and everything is just going great and your doctor has given you the high five and you got all the compliments, and let me guess that felt pretty amazing. It felt pretty good, you felt I don't know accomplished.

Shawn: 2:52

But here is the flip side to it all. There are the other days and you know the ones I'm talking about the roller coaster, glucose readings, the second guessing of every move, the nights where you're lying in bed and you're probably wondering did I do enough? Could I have done better? What could I have done differently? And that, right, there is where the perfectionist tendencies really show their true colors.

Shawn: 3:18

Perfectionism isn't always about striving for the best. Sometimes it's about the weight of the self-imposed expectations, especially when we're in a world where T1D already throws so many curveballs and twists and turns our way, and we're going to dive deeper into that here in a little bit. But we don't want to chase after perfection. We want to understand it, we want to tame it and eventually find the balance All right. So let's draw the connection between type 1 diabetes and being a perfectionist.

Shawn: 3:55

Why are type 1 diabetics more prone to this? Why are we on this never-ending quest to have perfect numbers and management? Well, first of all, there is this desire or need to have spot on blood sugar levels, and the reason this is is because when our levels are stable, we feel good. We feel good physically, we feel good mentally. It's that sweet spot, you know, like you took some Tylenol for a headache and finally you've got relief. That's that's that feeling. It just feels really, really good inside. Or maybe you can equate it to a feeling of accomplishment after a long run, or I don't know, like you nailed this very difficult dance move You've been like trying to do for some time. Whatever it may be, there is this feel good moment of I am in a good spot right now. But the downside is we sometimes mistakenly equate those stable numbers and those perfect levels with our own worth of how well we're handling our diabetes. Does that make sense? We will take these numbers of, like you know, being in perfect range with our success in our diabetic management.

Shawn: 5:16

There's also this external pressure. So in your head, you know, answer this question yes or no. But have you ever heard the phrase of being a good diabetic? And what does that even mean? I don't know, but you've heard the question. I know you have. It's as if there is some gold standard that we need to live by, or, as opposed, to live up to, and if we don't, somehow we're falling short and we're just not trying hard enough. But here's another layer the pressure, whether it's real or perceived from medical professionals and our loved ones and family. And I don't think it's always intentional, but sometimes it's those passing comments or when they glance at your glucose meter, or they have the app and they can see your numbers, and or maybe it's just a well intentioned piece of advice, even though you didn't ask for it.

Shawn: 6:18

Those moments can unknowingly add to this pile of perfectionistic pressure, this idea that we have to be great when it comes to managing our diabetes. And then there's this layer of technology and tech advancements when it comes to type one diabetes. Don't get me wrong. I'm very thankful for the advancement in technology, but with all the CGMs and the pumps which we need, in all of the stuff, we are now slammed and bombarded with real time data and trends and graphs. Don't get me wrong, please don't get me wrong. These are absolute game changers.

Shawn: 7:04

However, I do believe that they can become a double edged sword, and what I mean by that is, on one hand, they empower us, they allow us to be better and understand the data. On the other hand, they can make us obsess over every little uptick in every little downturn, and it will drive you wild. And finally, it's not just about numbers, but about real life events that all of this ties into. And what I mean by that is who hasn't skipped out on a piece of dessert or a birthday cake, fearing a spike? Or maybe you opted out of an activity, worrying about a potential low, or even a potential high with an adrenaline spike. So, whether you realize it or not, I would bet to say that many of us, if not all of us, in some shape or form strive for perfection, and that pursuit can often rob us of the very moments that make life special. It's a lot to unpack, I get it, but here's the thing recognizing these triggers and understanding where this drive for perfectionism stems from is half the battle. Right, it gives us the power to reset, recalibrate and maybe even redefine what perfect really means in our diabetic journey. Okay, so let's talk about some signs that you might need to recognize that would hint that you've been caught in this trap of perfectionism, if you will.

Shawn: 8:53

And let's touch on one that's probably way too familiar for many of us, and that's the constant, almost compulsive, need to check our glucose. It's like our fingers are Drawn to that glucometer, and especially, especially, during those times when our CGM is warming up, and you know what I'm talking about that dreaded warm-up period which is getting shorter and shorter with things like the dexcom g7. But currently, you know, on the Libre it's at least an hour and on the dexcom g6. It's two hours, and those two hours can feel like eternity. Instead of the usual convenience of the quick glance at our phone, suddenly we are back to Pricking the fingers because we can't bear that thought of not knowing our numbers, even if it's just for an hour or two.

Shawn: 9:50

Now, don't get me wrong. I find it Fantastic that we have the tools. That makes managing type 1 diabetes more streamlined. Like I said earlier, however, I think it's important to recognize that our reliability on these tools can sometimes border on Obsession. The need to always know our numbers, to always be in control. It's often a mask for a deeper fear of being perfect in your diabetic management. And here's some food for thought. Isn't it kind of fascinating to know that these devices are also kind of designed to Offer us a little bit of freedom and relief from the constant manual checks, day in and day out? To me, I see this as a testament to how Intertwined and engaged our emotions and behaviors are with type 1 Diabetic management, or management of any chronic illness for that matter.

Shawn: 10:58

All right, so let's talk about some other signs that you might be caught in this perfectionist trap. Another big one is the guilt or shame roller coaster, the high or low readings that pop up, and instead of asking ourselves what can I learn from this or what was different today than yesterday, we're often overwhelmed with the self-blame or the negative self-talk and putting ourselves down and we become our own worst enemy. And it's almost as if that one single reading, that one Solitary number, becomes the measure of our worth for the entire day. And next thing you know, your day is shot, you Okay. And then you've got the emotional exhaustion.

Shawn: 11:46

For those who don't live with type 1 Diabetics, it's hard to explain just how mentally draining this can be. We want those others to be able to live in our shoes and I've said this many times, but it's just not possible. And it's not just about managing numbers, but this emotional toll that numbers can take on us. Usually, reading every decision has this ripple effect on our mood and our day and how we perceive ourselves and how we judge ourselves, and maybe even how you grade yourself on a level of your own success. And while we're on this subject of emotions, let's talk about the social dilemma. Maybe you've declined an invite to hang out with your friends or your family because the idea of navigating the unknown menu of food or the potential curveballs that could be thrown at you when it comes to your glucose level management was just like way too much for you. So this whole idea of being cut off from social interactions and shared experiences with people that you love because of how you're managing your diabetes, that is a massive red flag of you're trying too hard to be perfect at what you do, and the reality is we can't right, we can't be perfect.

Shawn: 13:05

And let's talk about physical routine for a second. Are you pushing yourself too far? Maybe you're doubling up on your workouts or you're excessively excessively restricting foods because you have this fear of carbs, all in this attempt to compensate for a glucose level or a A1C that you can finally be pleased with. This is all very unhealthy for our emotional and mental well-being. Our journey with type one isn't about punishing ourselves or swinging from one extreme to another.

Shawn: 13:46

Back to what I said before. It's about balance and learning and adapting. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not perfect at this myself. I have several bad days. We're all going to have burnout, but I think it's about recognizing what burnout is and how to recover from it and just being able to see the signs. So let me ask you, how is this resonating with you right now? Are you feeling these connections and these challenges? I know I am, and I would bet that every type one diabetic is, on some level, some shape, in some form. So here's the kicker realizing that we might be caught in this down spiral of being perfect is the first step to easing the pressure, even if it's just a little bit, and beginning to reshape our relationship with diabetes.

Shawn: 14:48

Okay, so we have talked about the connection between type one diabetes and perfectionism. We talked about some of the signs and the red flags. Let's talk about the good stuff. How can we begin to let go of this mindset? And if there's one thing that I want to drive home today, it's the understanding that perfection isn't the root of type one diabetes management. Our goal is to pursue this balance and overall positive well-being. So first, can we do this? Can we just accept the fact that there will be days that are just off? That's just not a T1D truth, that is a human truth Our bodies, the environment, the stress, the hormones. There are countless variables at play here. Some days, despite our best efforts, things won't align perfectly Well, guess what? That's okay. It doesn't mean that you failed or I failed or we collectively as a community have failed. It means we're human and Tomorrow it's a new day with with new lessons.

Shawn: 16:06

One of the most freeing Realizations I have ever had in understanding diabetic management is to understand that Progress doesn't mean a straight line up. Follow me here for a second. It's a little bit of a zigzag. It's two steps forward, one step back. But every dip, every downfall and peak and curve and twist and turn, they all come with lessons that make us stronger, and I know that sounds a little cheesy, but there's a lot of truth to that. More informed, we're more resilient in our whole journey. I was reading the other day about this concept called compassionate self-awareness and Instead of berating ourselves when things don't go as planned, it's about treating ourselves with the same kind of kindness that we would show to a loved one when their day doesn't go as planned.

Shawn: 17:04

Imagine Advising a close friend or a spouse or a loved one who's having the worst day. Or maybe you're in a support group and someone's having a rough day Managing their diabetes, what happens? You are likely giving them all the love and support. You're not gonna be harsh, you're not gonna be critical. You're going to be understanding and supportive and optimistic. So why should that conversation be any different than what you would have with yourself? Think about that for a second.

Shawn: 17:34

Now let's talk about boundaries, especially when it comes to data. Our devices give us insights and trends, like I said before, and valuable information, but sometimes you have to take that step back. Set limits on how often you're checking your glucose. Give yourself some tech-free windows. Remember that before all these gadgets, people manage type 1 diabetes by listening to their bodies and how they felt in their own instincts. Try to tap into that just a little bit, to listen to your own intuition, because that overall experience will make your day better. It will make your life better in the whole idea of what diabetic management is, and You've heard me say this many times before. I want to say it again and I will probably say it again on the next episode.

Shawn: 18:28

But building a support system is vital. If you have not joined a support group or a support system of some sort, do so. Connect with other fellow type 1 diabetic warriors, share your experiences and draw strength from this whole communal idea that we're not alone and we're in this together, for each other. Often in these shared stories, we find peace and realization that Others have the same struggles and try ups, the same ups and the same downs. So, with this whole idea that we're talking about today of not only recognizing that you are tied to some form of perfection and your diabetic management, about how to relieve yourself of that and find this balance, I think we should redefine what success is, in my opinion.

Shawn: 19:23

Now, this is my opinion, but success isn't a perfect CGM graph or being in range for 24 to 48 hours. It's not this ideal A1c. All of that stuff is good and it's something that we should, you know, strive to do on some level, but it's not success. Does it make you successful? Success, to me, is waking up every day knowing that we gave it our all right. It's about adapting and learning and growing. It's about living a full life with all of the moments and not letting being a type 1 diabetic overshadow every moment of every day of your life.

Shawn: 20:05

So what happens now? What happens when we're able to shift our mindset? What does life look like when we embrace balance over perfection. Well, first of all there's this sense of relief. It's like a weight that you didn't even know that you were carrying begins to lift and you feel this burden that is no longer there. This isn't to say that the challenges of type 1 are going to disappear, because that's not necessarily true, but the internal pressure, the self-imposed stress, will begin to diminish, and that comes with more clarity and maybe some renewed focus on what truly matters.

Shawn: 20:57

And then there is this rekindled trust in yourself. Instead of getting lost in the noise of the data and the trends and the comparisons, you begin to trust your instincts just a little bit more, and you might even recognize that, with living with this condition, you are now more aware of your body and your unique understanding of your body, and it's more empowering to kind of lean into that personal wisdom and trust and intuition. And then there is this whole mental energy idea, and what I mean by that is now, when you're not expending so much mental and emotional effort pushing for these unrealistic standards, you're going to find yourself with more energy to invest in other things. Maybe it's, maybe it's hobbies that you left behind, you're reconnecting with friends or simply spending more time on self-care and relaxation, and then life can begin to feel a little bit fuller and richer, and I think that this will allow your relationship with failure to evolve. So, instead of seeing every off-reading or unexpected spike as this big, monumental setback, you begin to see them as learning opportunities. Each hiccup is a chance to understand better and adapt and grow, like we said a few minutes ago, and that shift from self-blame to constructive reflection can be super transformative overall. And with this whole thing, with this whole thing, comes this balance of broader perspective, or the bigger picture.

Shawn: 22:55

Type 1 Diabetes is a part of who you are. It is intertwined with you and it's not everything. It doesn't have to be what defines you. It's not the whole book, it's just part of your story, and so by not letting it dominate every facet of your life, you can make room for other identities and other roles. Whether you're a parent or a friend, or a musician, an artist, a traveler, a entrepreneur, whatever it may be, those parts of you will shine brighter and become more visible to not only you but to everyone around you.

Shawn: 23:34

I really hope that you can resonate with something that we covered today because, again, I promise you, even if you don't realize it, you are struggling with some sort of perfection. And it's okay to want to be better at things, it's okay to want to eat healthier, it's okay to want to have a lower A1c, it's okay to want to have better blood glucose levels All of that is okay. But when we make it our sole purpose in life and it's all we focus on, that's when things can make a turn for the worse. So hopefully you can recognize that and recognize those red flags. And this is not going to be a quick fix.

Shawn: 24:15

If this is you, if you are hearing this podcast and you go man, like everything, I can fully relate to it. I want to fix this. It's not going to be something you can just snap your fingers and fix. It takes time, it takes patience and it starts with being able to love yourself. So, as I end this episode, here is what I want you to remember that striving for balance instead of perfection, with someone who is living with type 1 diabetes is just about reclaiming your life, getting that life back. It's about cherishing every high and low, not just in the readings, but your overall experiences. It's about a journey of self-compassion, self-love and resilience and, ultimately, whole-hearted living. Stay inspired everybody. I love you guys and I will see you on the next episode.